Okay really lagging behind on assignments. Its driving me mad, this pressure. I don't know what I need to do to get myself to work. And its not only studies. I cannot seem to be able to concentrate in dance either. All I want to do is day-dream, watch TV and sleep. I didn't feel like driving to college in the morning, and that's something to worry about because i love to drive. I don't know where life is taking me. I have these phases when I am happy and ones when I am extremely frustrated. Its irritating because... well I don't really know why.
I feel this hollow inside me these days. Best Fraand says that she doesn't want college to get over because according to her she has not made the most of it yet. I feel it too but I don't know if that is the reason for me being so spaced out these days. It could be the pressure to perform well this year (academically!) but I can't get myself to start studying. I know its also about Ajeeb Insaan somewhere but I don't want to complicate my thoughts right now.
So what is it?
I have stopped working out. I don't enjoy food these days. I got bored during the choreography session yesterday. I slept when I should have been studying. This is not done yaar! I feel that the colours of life are fading away. Nothing is serious enough for me anymore. I am so chilled out about everything. And I know that is because I am scared. I want to believe that I dont care because I am unaware of the future and I am scared of defeat. I cannot imagine where life is taking me. Be it the career or my so called love life. I want to do well in both but I am just not interested enough. Or rather I am just very scared!
I want this phase to get over RIGHT NOW!! I want to be happy again. This could be PMS (post) and I so hope it is... Bleh!!