Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
But the deal is that I will miss this. The four clan friendship is so much my thing. First the 'Girl Gang' broke up and now the 'Cool Group' is disintegrating. I know that this will last. It will. But it is changing in the physical aspect of things. The so called 'fun' is going away. But that's not the point right. Friendships always are forever. And obviously after good comes bad. After sunshine, there is always a gray day. But whats important is that sunshine always comes back.
What scares me is that the 'connecting thread' was the one who held this together. The loose ends will find it hard to exist without him. Am I one of those loose ends? I don't know if I am. But I know the other two are. And that's scary. Its unimaginable. I know I will be the easiest to cut away only because I am the new-est. I don't see the both of them making an effort to keep it alive. They will sulk in their misery and not talk about it.
And the one moving away will be the most difficult to handle. He will not know each and every detail of each and every second of the other two's life. I am inconsequential because I always was and I like it like this. And I know how to deal with it too. The switch off button is always the most useful thing. The brick wall still exists.
But I can't stop hoping that defense mechanisms won't be required.
Here's a toast then, to the most genuine and the most caring guy I ever met. And who I intend to keep close for as long as I can. Here is a toast to all the wonderful times we spent together which may be less but were worth so much more. Here's to the long talks, the crazy jokes, the irresponsible drinking, the 'boys night out', the cooking and cleaning, the heart to hearts and soul to souls. Here is to the only boy who said that he will marry me if I am single after ten years just because I cook so well. Here is to the new but the very very special bond that I share with him. Here's to Amit.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I shall be off for a week and then i will update...:)
Super excited. And very happy.
Love. Miss me Delhi. I will try to miss you. I can't guarantee... ;)
PS- Last post....not to be taken seriously. Was an emotional outburst.
PPS- the art of cooking is not alien to me anymore. Woo hooo!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
It is nothing too drastic. There was nothing too severe in the messages, nothing worse than what has happened already. But when the guy loves you like never before and you know its because of the alcohol, it sucks. Waking up in the morning sucks. The words he whispered in your ears as he hugged you close which seemed so real then, now haunt the living daylights out of you. I didn't ever think I was capable of such a complex emotion but guess what, I was wrong.
And all this but I still want to be the same. The same with him. I still feel what I did before. I accept it as a part of him and THAT is weird. The memory of a walk in the cold night is still happy enough to make me forget all the absurdity. The good continues to overpower the ugly.
And after all its ugly only by the virtue of the conventional norms of the society.
The morning is then, not all that bad.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
This is so bloody confusing na. He is so adorable. And sort of irresistible. But at the same time he has this transparent glass around him which I can't get through. He feels like a stranger yet he is so close to me. It feels so right with him but still its all wrong. Brain has all sorts of wiring disorder when it comes to him. What yaar!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Who will be the next Prime Minister of India? Manmohan after all the allegations by BJP and the Left? Even though Rahul Gandhi is SAYING that he is to inexperienced and naive to be one but who knows what Sonia has in mind? Sharad Pawar? A strong candidate according to some but is he stronger than Nitish? Narendra Modi? The last time I counted about ten candidates were willing and had a chance? Who is stronger this election- UPA or NDA?? A famous journalist said about two weeks back that its an 'issue-less election'...really???
What about LTTE? And Prachanda? And BDR? Taliban? All neighbouring countries are in a mess... Lucky us...not!
And the Global Meltdown?? For once I know why it happened and what it led to...Don't worry I am not going into the details.
The point is that this is what fills my mind these days. I feel smart-er than some. But much more than that I feel dumb for not knowing so much more.
And yeah other things too (on a micro level). The two Grand Birthdays of the year are here:). The far far away phenomenon of my life is giving me a hard time. Weight loss is still an issue (Yoga...I finally came back to you. Treat me well). Belly dancing and Lyrical Jazz are on the list after 18Th (that's the day of my IIMC entrances). Jamia went well. Abstract and ambiguous...loved it. Hoping the examiners will love it too. Best Fraand and macbook and shopping and formals..... the time is coming near. Don't go? Froggy discusses current affairs with me...awwww!! Pugsie is still the person I want to tell everything to. I cried to her today as well ( and trust me I feel so much better).
As for the distances in this life...they are driving me crazy. Mad! I am losing control and i cant seem to let go. Arey ho jayega! Evetually sab ho hi jata hai!
As for Obama...I don't think he is that great. Isn't he after all the propagator of his so called 'superpower' status as well? I think he is. Not that its his fault. Stop expecting great things from the poor guy...he is after all human! And a victim of his own position!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Now I can barely do 50. That is half of what it used to be. That's what no-dancing-sitting-at-home does to you. Well I have final my exams so there is no other option. But whats with these increasing kilos?
Hello body fat! Its not a competition of who can get fuller faster. So do you mind staying off?
And the increasing waistline. What are we going to do about that?
Well I will tell you a few things I have tried which might work for you but for me they have failed miserably. And the reason is all the good food in the world. The kebabs, the pastas, the Mughlai Murg, the Rogan josh, the Tandoori Roti, the street food, Chinese... I have to stop!!! STOP! Right now. And oh by the way the biggest enemy...that pack of instant 2 minute noodles lying in your kitchen.
Okay so the cereal diet. The advertisement says 2 bowls, 2 weeks, 2 kilos! You can have one normal meal and two times you have to eat cereal. Well it worked the first day. But the second day my one normal meal comprised of a three course dinner at a famous kebab joint. Well what the hell! One day doesn't matter all that much (oh it does!!). But the next day the cereal box was empty because my sister likes to eat cereal as snack, without milk as a crunchy snack!!!
And oh then there was the only fruit diet. Well that requires one hell of a willpower and as I might have hinted earlier, I seriously lack it. But at least now I eat two fruits per day. Mom says that it helps in fat reduction. And so does nimbu paani without sugar!
Then there was Yoga. Well what the hell, lets watch TV! I need to sweat and yoga doesn't work. Nope it doesn't. It does if you do it regularly and I so can't. Its too boring.
Then there was lets-dance-for-one-hour-each-day plan. Well its hard to do it alone. And harder when you don't have a lot of space. And each time i try, I feel guilty for not studying. Why don't I feel guilty while watching TV is something I still need to figure out.
Now I try to help mom with the household chores. I actually get up to fill water bottles. Tip: Voluntarily get up each time someone asks for help. That means more movement and less time on the couch. And also you can walk while you read. That should help!
Jogging? Well i am still trying and it might just work. Along with the crunches which shall increase. Very soon!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Note: Title edited on popular demand!!! ;). There are small elements that I have borrowed from my life, my past and my present. But its still mostly fictional.
With heavy eyelids as I sat in my veranda, I could not understand why my head felt so heavy. The wind was pleasant and so was the sunlight. But my heart felt heavy. Here I was feeling incomplete while somewhere he was busy with mundane things like laptop repair and satyanarayan pooja. He had gone back with the promise in his eyes of returning. But probably of not missing me. Well he did not miss me at all.
Koodawala. Or maybe the maid. I didn't care. I could not get myself to get out of the chair. I could not bear the weight of some one's company. Except his maybe. But I am not too sure. Last night also I thought I wanted to talk to him but when I did, I realised that I actually did not really want it. I kept pushing it, didn't I? Kept trying to tell him about the depth of my feelings. But the reaction just was not enough for me. Maybe because I knew that it was filtered through a football match. Or maybe because I knew that I had a few more minutes before he would want to fall asleep. But then I decided I wont let him sleep. Maybe it was the vodka earlier that encouraged my decision. I always try to let go but last night I decided to hold on for once. And maybe I deserved what I got.
When did sleeping become more important that my pleas? My tears?
I just want him to come back. Do I? This house feels like a burden. Maybe because I fear that he wont ever return. But wont it be worse if he does? I should run away right now when I can, from this absurd, maddening truth. Run away before we return to the same routine of daily work. That's not how I thought it would be when I came to live with him. I thought that it would be light and beautiful. That's what he had said. Marriage without bonds. Living for each other, with each other without any tags. But it wasn't as rosy as I thought it would be. Because of my constant presence around him, he started taking me for granted. And to the limit of hurting me and not realising it. Mom was right. Our intellectual levels don't match. He isn't even capable of feelings that You have in your heart.. But why??
The first time in my life I want to blame God. Never before did I believe in him? her? it? Maybe I still don't. But I want to blame God. Why cant it be this man I love? Why is he so shallow? Where is the goddamn depth?
When did laptops, football matches, rituals, sleep become more important than our relationship? When did it all start? Why did I even make this decision? Is this what regret feels like?
Now someone was literally banging the door. Natasha memsaab! darwaza kholo. Mujhe pata hai aap andar ho!! Why did this noise feel so far away? Why couldn't I get up? Why couldn't I leave my chair? I knew that if I didn't they would break the door and come in. But I was still motionless... Thoughtless now...
You someone far far away...
...please come back.
Although I know we won't be able to be with each other that often because of my exams but atleast you will be around.
But please come back na!
Or just call me twice a day and tell me how much you miss my company. That should work.
Or maybe not.
Actually it will make me miss your company more.
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
Just come back.
I miss you.
Monday, March 23, 2009
...I know I am asking for a little more than what you are giving me but I think i deserve it after what has happened already. I demand romance....and you have to give it to me. Just because we are growing older and are getting used to each other does not mean that all the passion has to go, does not mean that small things are not required anymore. Don't kill the love of being mad within me, don't take away from me what I have always gained from being insane. I want to be crazy at times. Be my friend when I need one. Be my accomplice in my random moods. Be there for me whenever I need you. Make me happy, make me sad, make me feel joy, let me be excited. Don't kill my need to be madly in love once more. Because if I cant be mad, I cant love either. And if I cant love, YOU wont make a difference to me.
So life, Oh dear dear life....For your own sake let me be what I want to be, give me all that I demand, let me feel all that i want to, let me be naive once more.
Let me live.
I want to be alive... once more...
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I want someone to call me and i won't call anyone because I want attention and not them.
Ideally someone should call me and tell me how fantastic and amazing and important I am.
Or I should have some Chicken Seekh Kebabs and the fat should go to someone else's body who actually needs it.
Why is none of it happening??
Two blog entries in 15 mins.... at least its close to talking.... Is anyone listening???
Mood swings are unavoidable. And irritating. You know that you are being unreasonable but you cant help it. And that's what makes them even more irritating. Aaaaaaaaaargh.
PS- And again, Froggy all the very best.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Men should PMS and experience what it feels like.
But unfortunately....Thats not going to happen.
So we shall PMS and be moody and irritated and frustrated while they can whine about...oh i dont know....LONG LECTURES maybe!!!
Wish: Make men go through a woman's cycle for just one month. At least they'll know what we are talking about then.
And no.... every emotional outburst is not PMS!!!!
God I hate this unfair phenomenon!!!
Monday, March 2, 2009
I like putting nailpaint.
I miss days when I could copy homework without thinking of paraphrasing.
I want to go back to 5th standard when I could run around the campus in my favourite maroon umbrella-cut long skirt without thinking about how I looked.
I love pretty coloured eyeliners.
I love my new high definition eyeliner. Makes my eyes look pretty(ier) and it stays for long and is easy to apply.
I hate the fact that one has to live through school for 12 years and college where you have so much fun gets over in just three.
I LOVE the colour red. And ethenic jwellery.
I hate not having any aim in life. Okay so being rich can be an aim.... But then I hate not knowing how to.
I love it when old friends call or text.
I love people making an effort to meet me, or rather making an effort to be with me.
I wonder why I dont submit assignments throughout the year.....
Why don't men menstruate???
The colour pink is one fantastic thing to cheer you up....the second in line is purple.
Are fuzzy slippers comfortable??
Losing weight is so goddamn tough...and so slow a process!!!
Chocolate fantasy can never be too much chocolate!
Why is this note moving from 'I' to general things?
Photography needs skills which are suppsed to be "WOW"!!!
I like Sean Paul's Temperature... a lot!
Dancing is so much fun!!!
Writing nonsense can get borning after a while!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Okay so the advertisement on my facebook account reads: India's Best University.........AMITY UNIVERSITY!!!
Yes this is the first thing that i mention after not writing for ages. Deal with it!
Too much has happened....but i won't go into the details (i don't owe anyone!!)
I don't even know what to write in this post except that i am super elated. The Gleaming Accessory is catching my eye again and again, I cant help but gush. Every time I look at it, I smile. Without fail. Its like an auto-smile switch. I don't even know how this happened but it just did.
Early morning. Around 8 (which is early for a holiday). Phone rings.... or rather vibrates, BUzzzzzzzzzzz. Pugsie. Network bad so i call her from the land line. One super excited chat about well ahem ahem. And then one super smart opinionated discussion on the Oscar famous Slumdog Millionaire. Pugsie I love our conversations. And that is because u know what i want to say without me really saying it at all. And I love you. I don't know what I would have done without you.
Last night. Around 8. Driving back home. Nobody picking my call. Message to the two pretty girls. I call Froggy. "Heeeey whats up"...the usual Froggy greeting. I don't even say 'Hi' and I blurt out the happenings of the day. In detail. Don't know how she is reacting on the other side but i cant help it. I go on talking till I've told her everything. She sounds happy for me. Froggy you should know that being the first one to hear makes you the recipient of maximum excitement and the most genuine emotion. Love ya baby. So much.
Last night. After reaching home. On the phone with Best Fraand.
Me: So you know the basic right?
Her: No I don't know anything!!!
I told her the whole story. But you should know Best Fraand how much that "i don't know anything" weirded me out. I felt so light after narrating the whole thing to you. Better than ever. And that is why you were the first person I called and messaged because I wanted to hear your voice and your reaction. I don't care how you reacted but just the fact that I told you everything made all the difference in the world. I need not state the obvious but well I want to anyway.... I love you!
I don't even know why I wrote about you three. But I just did. Felt like it. The Gleaming Accessory agrees. And looks pretty when I type. Nice and glittery and pretty and shiny and.....just so beautiful!!!
Friday, February 20, 2009
By the Deluded Doctor!!
Top 8 excuses why Anukriti doesnt post regularly on her blog
8. She likes to keep us in suspense
then she can finally blog about the things that matter to her, like dances, gossip, drooling and male pattern baldness
7. she has exams and she's working hard and studying for them.yeah right.
6. she's not intellectual enough.yeah right.
5. her astrologer friend has warned her not to.
saying that if she does try to blog in this ominous period of mars, she might develop boils on her chin......or worse, she may start liking her studies(*shudders*)
4. her parents have asked her to stop blogging, otherwise they'll marry her off to a rich gujrati snob.
3. she watches friends.
chandler bing doesnt blog. chandler bing is cool.
2. it takes too long to type that much.what? try typing with your nose while using both your hands to eat chips. is it that easy now, huh, mr smartypants?
1. she waits until someone asks her why.
and then zap! using her higher intellectuality and sense of fashion, she makes the person write her a guest post.