I am not going to settle for anything less than perfect. As long as i can help it, i will go to any extent, push myself the hardest to reach what i think is perfect and the rest i will leave to that supernatural power i strongly believe in. If i cannot help it, i will do everything in my power to make it the way i want it to be. The bottom line is that i will not settle for anything less than perfect irrespective of what part of my life it is and where it stands in priority list. I will make sure that i take desperate measures to make things happen the way i want them to be. I know that's impossible but i know the extent of possibility and i will make sure it reaches that extent.
In a certain part of my life, i cannot seem to figure out the definition of 'perfect' but i do know what kind of attitude i require from 'people'. I know it is possible because i have experienced it before. The level of involvement that i have, if 'people' reach even half of that, I will be happy. Right now, in order to get that, I need to hold back my feelings, not say everything i want to, hold myself back. This method has two benefits. a) It may lead to 'people' realising my worth and start treating me and my feelings with more consideration. b) If none of that happens then i will need to get over certain habits and controlling my feelings from now on will help me more.
Problem is that this whole controlling my feelings (and myself) is proving to be a very tough job. I know i can do it because I've done it once before but i am just way too disoriented to make it happen. But I will from now on.
Cant understand a word? I don't blame you. I just had to write it for myself.... Writing makes things easier to follow.