To you, Ajeeb Insaan. You the weirdest part of my life!!

Okay so what the eff do you want from me?

Why do you keep coming back? And if you cannot live without me and if you love me all that much then why do you go away in the first place?

Let me tell you thing straight. I know I deserve someone better. I know I do. All my friends think so too. You really want to hear their responses? Well you won't be able to take that because it will burst that little bubble around your head.

So here you are again asking me to take you back? And don't we all know I will? But you know what...One day this patience will get over, this 'connection' that overpowers everything right now will fade away, and my so called 'love' for you will dissolve.

Its hard. Trusting you now. But I still cannot say no to you. You know why? Because I really care for you. Oh or is it because you are a ready-made, doggy-trained boyfriend till I find another one (I don't really mean it but yes this thought has crossed my mind)? You said you want to marry me right? Well Best friend will kill you even if you try...Ha! But before that I don't even know if you would want it tomorrow as well...and the day after that. Are my friends correct when they say that you boys can go to any extent to woo a girl? Are you one of those?

Is it true that all that I know of you from the past five years is decieving me? Am I that blind that I still think that you are a nice person at heart? Are all my perceptions about you wrong? Do I suck that bad at judging people?

Or am I right?

You know what? Your indecisiveness now shows on your face. Dance People think that you don't even have a personality compared to mine. And that's only because you don't know anything about yourself yet. You are ignorant and immature. You are still living in those false assumptions of life and depending way too much on others.

I thought I will enjoy this superiority but guess what....all the negatives that I have heard about you since yesterday, have made me very upset. It doesn't make me want to reject you, but it just hurts me because well, I guess I still care for you. I am so used to everyone telling me that we look great together that this time these opinions are killing me.

Will you just make it clear for me. Either make me absolutely fall in love with you again so that these things stop bothering me. Or simply just go. I was happy without you. Yes i have missed you like mad but at least I wasn't confused in my mind. I cannot give you up. but I cannot listen to all these people 'tch'-ing at me either. I don't know what I want, but I definitely need some clarity.

You will have to wait till I make up my mind. You will have to wait...

Disclaimer- Result of an emotional upheaval. I might not mean some of the things that i said. After effect of a rough feedback!