Friday, April 10, 2009

Struggling to lose weight anyone??? Join the club!

So the days of 100 crunches are over!

Now I can barely do 50. That is half of what it used to be. That's what no-dancing-sitting-at-home does to you. Well I have final my exams so there is no other option. But whats with these increasing kilos?

Hello body fat! Its not a competition of who can get fuller faster. So do you mind staying off?

And the increasing waistline. What are we going to do about that?

Well I will tell you a few things I have tried which might work for you but for me they have failed miserably. And the reason is all the good food in the world. The kebabs, the pastas, the Mughlai Murg, the Rogan josh, the Tandoori Roti, the street food, Chinese... I have to stop!!! STOP! Right now. And oh by the way the biggest enemy...that pack of instant 2 minute noodles lying in your kitchen.

Okay so the cereal diet. The advertisement says 2 bowls, 2 weeks, 2 kilos! You can have one normal meal and two times you have to eat cereal. Well it worked the first day. But the second day my one normal meal comprised of a three course dinner at a famous kebab joint. Well what the hell! One day doesn't matter all that much (oh it does!!). But the next day the cereal box was empty because my sister likes to eat cereal as snack, without milk as a crunchy snack!!!

And oh then there was the only fruit diet. Well that requires one hell of a willpower and as I might have hinted earlier, I seriously lack it. But at least now I eat two fruits per day. Mom says that it helps in fat reduction. And so does nimbu paani without sugar!

Then there was Yoga. Well what the hell, lets watch TV! I need to sweat and yoga doesn't work. Nope it doesn't. It does if you do it regularly and I so can't. Its too boring.

Then there was lets-dance-for-one-hour-each-day plan. Well its hard to do it alone. And harder when you don't have a lot of space. And each time i try, I feel guilty for not studying. Why don't I feel guilty while watching TV is something I still need to figure out.

Now I try to help mom with the household chores. I actually get up to fill water bottles. Tip: Voluntarily get up each time someone asks for help. That means more movement and less time on the couch. And also you can walk while you read. That should help!

Jogging? Well i am still trying and it might just work. Along with the crunches which shall increase. Very soon!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Fiction... inspired by my own life.

Note: Title edited on popular demand!!! ;). There are small elements that I have borrowed from my life, my past and my present. But its still mostly fictional.

With heavy eyelids as I sat in my veranda, I could not understand why my head felt so heavy. The wind was pleasant and so was the sunlight. But my heart felt heavy. Here I was feeling incomplete while somewhere he was busy with mundane things like laptop repair and satyanarayan pooja. He had gone back with the promise in his eyes of returning. But probably of not missing me. Well he did not miss me at all.

*Ding dong*

Koodawala. Or maybe the maid. I didn't care. I could not get myself to get out of the chair. I could not bear the weight of some one's company. Except his maybe. But I am not too sure. Last night also I thought I wanted to talk to him but when I did, I realised that I actually did not really want it. I kept pushing it, didn't I? Kept trying to tell him about the depth of my feelings. But the reaction just was not enough for me. Maybe because I knew that it was filtered through a football match. Or maybe because I knew that I had a few more minutes before he would want to fall asleep. But then I decided I wont let him sleep. Maybe it was the vodka earlier that encouraged my decision. I always try to let go but last night I decided to hold on for once. And maybe I deserved what I got.

When did sleeping become more important that my pleas? My tears?

I just want him to come back. Do I? This house feels like a burden. Maybe because I fear that he wont ever return. But wont it be worse if he does? I should run away right now when I can, from this absurd, maddening truth. Run away before we return to the same routine of daily work. That's not how I thought it would be when I came to live with him. I thought that it would be light and beautiful. That's what he had said. Marriage without bonds. Living for each other, with each other without any tags. But it wasn't as rosy as I thought it would be. Because of my constant presence around him, he started taking me for granted. And to the limit of hurting me and not realising it. Mom was right. Our intellectual levels don't match. He isn't even capable of feelings that You have in your heart.. But why??

The first time in my life I want to blame God. Never before did I believe in him? her? it? Maybe I still don't. But I want to blame God. Why cant it be this man I love? Why is he so shallow? Where is the goddamn depth?

When did laptops, football matches, rituals, sleep become more important than our relationship? When did it all start? Why did I even make this decision? Is this what regret feels like?

Now someone was literally banging the door. Natasha memsaab! darwaza kholo. Mujhe pata hai aap andar ho!! Why did this noise feel so far away? Why couldn't I get up? Why couldn't I leave my chair? I knew that if I didn't they would break the door and come in. But I was still motionless... Thoughtless now...

You someone far far away...
...please come back.
Please...*puppy face*

Although I know we won't be able to be with each other that often because of my exams but atleast you will be around.

But please come back na!

Or just call me twice a day and tell me how much you miss my company. That should work.
Or maybe not.
Actually it will make me miss your company more.
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

Just come back.
I miss you.
A lot.