Monday, August 18, 2008

creative juices refuse to flow!!!

Its so weird, the way i am taking things so lightly. There seems to be no hurry. So weird for someone who is always running around and working and doing things. Today i just felt like driving to noida, stealing ajeeb insaan and then going for a long drive. I know its silly but cant help it. I think its because of the conversation last night (the long conversation to be precise). It was a little more than amazing. I mean i actually got emotional enough to drop a tear...and then tell him about it *feels ashamed*. I cant believe my feelings for him right now. They are perfect. I want this to continue.

But also i do not wish to disrupt my normal daily life (not that my love life is abnormal) (no regrets for using the term losely:P). And i know it wont if i get a grip on myself, which i will eventually. Right now i feel like going back to the rosy days and dream away to glory. although i am totally aware of the consequences of over expectations but i swear i want to not control myself emotionally for once.

On the other hand, Enigma is not the source of my worries anymore. Its more fun now. More exciting for sure. Not worry-some at all and i dont know if that is a good thing. I need to think of the person who will replace the 'glorious moi' next year and thats proving to be difficult. I want to lose some more weight and that proving to be even worse (metabolism suxx). But yeah i am much more confident of my skills as a dancer/ choreographer/ convener. Awesome dancer was a little weird today. First she was very anxious and was rushing things and then she was a little irritating. But i guess i am okay with her being the way she is because i know for a fact that its merely a phase.

Its amazing how i have become more patient towards so many things in life. I am so much more relaxed and not tensed at all. I give the credit to Ajeeb Insaan because he makes me feel so nice and beautiful and sexy and wanted and hot and intelligent and understanding and so on. He is everything i ever wanted these days and i pray that it lasts longer than usual. *sigh* I love being in love (and i know it is love because there is no other possible explaination). I dont care for the future anymore and why should i? The present itself is so beautiful.

God i need to stop thinking of him.....i need to!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Ajeeb Insaan!

Its crazy...this life. Six months back i was a happy girl, completely over her ex, busy with friends and fun. And now i am dating my ex (again). people sometimes repeat mistakes and learn eventually but i can never learn. I dont even know if this is a mistake at all. Ajeeb insaan has changed so much. The biggest possible reason is that he lives right here in noida now. But cummon! Nobody i know has changed this much ever. And he chose the right time to change...exactly when i stopped believing that people change. Too much 'change'??? Well imagine i am living it! Either it is absolutely fake or god has been really kind. Also i give myself a lot of credit because i have understood what it takes to not be the'possessive' kinds! I have understood that the only way to deal with this guy is to let him be. And thats exactly what i do these days. I personally do not use my boyfriend as a 'let out', like most of the girls do. I am very self sufficient that way (throwing things, crying loudly, pulling hairstrands etc)...

Anyway, I am very happy. Its amazing how a no sex relationship can be so much fun (trust me!). I guess everybody reaches that point in life where other things do become more important than just dealing with your horny self(cant believe i am saying that).

Ajeeb insaan still as enigmatic and mysterious as ever and i still dont understand the reason for a lot of things he does. But the difference now is that i have stopped crying over these weird things.