The probable Diary entry of a Cynic

Dear Diary
So I went out of my way to  get out of the bed today and did everyone a favor by talking to them in a decently non pissed off manner. What was I to do? The internet stopped working right on the day I needed it the most. Obviously I was bored to death and I realized nothing good would come out of breaking my web provider's head except the dirty filth that he dares to call his brain.

So I just utilized my day off by being civil to people only because I had nothing better to do. Also when the world comes to an end, which I am sure it is going to, I don't want to have any regrets.

So you see I am a self proclaimed cynic. I live under the presumption that the entire universe is out to wrong me. I am also a narcissist and by that logic I am always right. My perception of people is always correct. Which makes me a hell of a mind reader, and I can read people's personalities like they were a Nursery rhyme. While I busy myself understanding this world around me and it's atrocities, I also blame my problems onto those who have wronged me. Like I know everything, I also know that I am screwed up. Well since knowing a problem is half of it's solution, I am extremely satisfied and I sit on my ass all day passing a commentary on those who are mostly sorted in their existence. How dare they be so sorted? They must be hiding some form of insecurity like me, and that is why they are cowards who cannot face life.

Don't get me wrong. I don't judge people. I just hate those who dare to comment on my way of living and I detest those who do not understand me. If you have a problem with the way I function, then you can sod off. I also have a soft corner for those who treat me like shit, somewhere I aspire to have that kind of power over others.

I am sarcastic, and I love the way people don't get my jokes. I am fully capable of entertaining myself by listening to stupidity of those who are inspired, who want to make their lives a dream come true. I just smoke my cigarette while others make dumb life plans which will eventually be as useless as this ash. Why don't people get that we should first learn how to stabilize our current life because that in itself will be a big enough feat. They probably don't get that we are all a part of one big Existential drama.

My family has messed me up. So have my past relationships. And also all my jobs.
But now, I love messing with people's common sense. Common sense that is extremely rare.

But don't pity me, I have a ton of friends who love to get drunk with me and we party like animals all the time.

I am bored now.
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Pheww! The negativity of our generation crosses my path on a daily basis. But sometimes, a single encounter with a Cynic can force a post like the above from a person like me. They are very charming and entertaining as people. They are also quite interesting as well as extremely hilarious. I wondered if I would be able to talk like the way they do. Above is an attempt.
Some of the lines are actual sentences which this person said to me in a single conversation. I have tried my best to recreate what I felt, and have tried my best to not let my own judgement come into play. Whatever sarcasm there might be, is just an after effect.

Love. :) :)