Maybe this is how it was meant to be.

I am unusually content with the way things with Capricorn Boy are going. Its actually not going anywhere and that's what I like about this. Its slow now as opposed to how it started. He is the same. And I don't know how exactly he feels. But I know that he feels something. He acknowledges it. And that is surprisingly okay with me. I am in control of my emotions when it comes to him. There are no desperate calls, no arguments, no insecurities, nothing. And I like that.

I still wish I knew what he feels. But I have come to terms with the fact that he will never tell me. That's how he is. I hope that someday he will but I don't expect it. And finally I know what the difference between hoping and expecting is. Just because I like to think about him doesn't make it an obligation for him to do the same.

When this started out, I found a problem with so many things that he did or said. But now, I don't. I find them cute now. All these days when he wasn't around, I missed him. But there was no compulsive craving for his calls or his attention. That felt nice. I was happy missing him. Oho this romance never dies...does it?

Even his horrible jokes which should make me jealous are acceptable now. I can handle his occasional nasty mean behavior. And after a while, I find it amusing. Only God knows what this boy thinks. And I am happy that at least God does. I have no inclination to go out of my way to 'de-mystify' him. I want to learn as and when it's meant to be. The bottom line is that I know he is good at heart and he will never hurt me knowingly. And that's sufficient.

Anyway.

I am looking forward to the 'trip'. And just that. No imagining or day dreaming about what may or may not happen.

*sigh*

PS- I lost the Gleaming Accessory. I guess it was never meant to be mine. The sad part is that I couldn't sell it and get some cash in return. ;)

PPS- Read this.