Why do my ears ring in silence?
I think it is because they are too used to the noise around all the time. I am too. Noise and Chaos are such a huge part of my life, I love them.
I read somewhere that everyone can find peace in solitude and silence. We should be like Krishna who urges you to find it in the middle of Kurukshetra.
Running around my mind are a million thoughts. This is the first time in a long time I feel less satisfied and very very restless. Kurukshetra awaits me it seems but I just don't know how to reach it. What if I lose my track and never make it to the war? Instead I end up somewhere else, some far away land where they don't even know about the war. I sound like an Ostrich right now. A pretty Ostrich but an escapist nonetheless.
I usually tame the bull by it's horn. Usually. This time the bull is emitting fire. Dragon Bull!
I want to clean up my room but somehow I don't.
Today I purposely bunked dance class. I never bunk class but today I did. Almost as if the reason I go at all is him. I would've gone for a different class you know, and I almost did also. But today I just needed me to be not me and be someone else. I am trying on my sister's garb in the first half of the day and will resume my own at around 3.
PS- Must move out Next month. Somehow it will happen.
I am doing it. Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Me and my new cat.