It is not sinking in yet. But it will eventually.
The broke days are over.
But there is this sense of This not being It. As in I must have better things in store for me right? It has to get better than this. It will. I will make it.
I will strive hard, no doubt. And I have a knack for transforming things that start at nothing to them becoming super fabulous. You know they always told us in our Consumer Behavior classes that an underdog who makes it large will always make it to the heart of the audience. It is like a sure shot formula to success.
And I love being that underdog. And I always make sure I make it big. Whatever I do.
So what is so different this time? I need like heavy doses of motivation but no encouraging words. I can't take it when people motivate me verbally. Other small things work for me.
I know it will all be better when I start on Monday.
And once I am into it there will be no turning back.
But all these years i was always in control of what i wanted to do and suddenly it seems that I am not. I am sure that won't be the case starting Monday.
Till then I shall divert myself by shopping and socializing.
I like it.
And yet this numb-ness.