Okay Happy New Year's Eve.

But what's so happy about it??? All my plans of... *ahem*... 'partying' have been practically ruined by my dad. I have exams starting on the 9Th and I kind of don't know anything!! The beginning of this year is almost practically sucky.

But on the bright side, I don't feel that bad right now. Big plans for my birthday, actually one of the big plan for my birthday sounds nice. But I am not expecting too much because people who are making these plans are well... different! And off course there will be a sleepover with three best people on my birthday eve which is OBVIOUS!! And guess what, unlike last year I am very very excited. In fact so excited that I don't regret foiled New Year Plans anymore. My birthday is like at the perfect time. Exams will be over and Enigma practices will most probably be off. So I will be free the whole day... and that leaves me with a WHOLE DAY to do what I want. And what makes it even better is the weather. Its Winters...and I love Winters. My campus will be full of seasonal flowers which are planted every year for the IGNOU Convocation in the first week of February. And Delhi will be absolutely pretty too...And i know because it always is in January.

I am sure I want one long drive, one chocolate cake, some balloons, a visit to one huge mall, a not so non-fattening lunch, warm coffee, chicken tikka, lots and lots of warm hugs and lots and lots of birthday wishes. And I am going to make sure I get all of this... because hello its like the most beautiful day of the year.

Can't wait for these exams to get over and all the fun that will follow. I am just plain excited. I know its too early to start thinking but i don't care. I am sure i will feel much better about studying if I have something this nice to look forward to...

So HAPPY NEW YEAR. And here is hoping a very very happy 2009.

Love.

PS- Best Fraand, Pugsie and Froggy. Just wanted to mention you three as you guys have made my last two birthdays the best ones ever. Love you so much. Mwah!!

SNAP!!! and its done...

When you are sitting in an examination hall waiting for the invigilator to sign your booklet and the bell to ring so that you can un-seal your question paper, you generally start thinking...

Now those who have studied day in and day out for the entrance, they want to clear their minds a little. Generally the de-tangling of facts takes place when you turn around to ask a total stranger (or wait did we take the same coaching classes??) about the various variables and the ugly trigonometric formulae.

Then there are those who are cent percent sure of themselves (do they really exist?) and who have been constantly assured by their teachers that they will top this entrance and various institutions will beg them to take admission.

But there are people like me as well who a day before the entrance decide that they will take the exam, and that they will actually sit in one place for two hours and randomly answer some questions which they are not even sure of. We (referring to the whole community of entrance exam haters and people not even remotely prepared for them), take a look around the room. We find our place and sit down only to analyse what is happening around. Thoughts revolve around why is that girl trying to study at the last moment to why those two boys are talking to each other so animatedly(the cheating pair of the class??) to why these seats are so small and how is that huge guy even managing to sit (or fit?) into these??

The bell finally rings and the paper commences. Two hours of testing my intelligence and my memory (considering I am not prepared otherwise and I have to depend only on my memory!). And 'SNAP' (or ZAP!) two hours are gone... I am out of the hall, smiling brightly as I think- 'It wasn't as disastrous as i thought it would be...'

Have you ever....??

Have you ever come across a situation when the only little ray of hope which might just change your whole life is snatched away from you mercilessly?

Have your parents ever pretended to be all nice and cool about what you want to do with your life and have suddenly said 'no' to taking the potential first step towards it?

Have you ever filled up an entrance exam form only to realise that you don't really want to sit in that exam?

Has your younger sibling ever told you that you need to do what you want and you have only refused to listen because your choices in the near future are going to be based on what is apparently 'right' or 'wrong' rather than what you really want??

Have you believed in destiny for a very long time and then suddenly have started hating the fact that you do actually really believe in the whole idea of whatever happens is for good?

Have you ever finally realised that Sour Punk is a just a CANDY and not a string with which you can pull yourself out of depression??

Have you ever been depressed and have tried to tell yourself (and the world) that you aren't??

Have you ever wanted to just give up everything and run away but you really don't know if that will help at all??

I dont know what to call this one!!! Good ideas for a heading are welcome!

Its like I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean and I have no clue where i want to go. Its not that I can't see land, its just that I don't know which landmass i want to go to. What if i reach Land A and realise that Land B was what I actually wanted? I really don't know where this life is going, or where this blog post is going!!!

The costume crisis is just not getting over. Tailor auntie refuses to meet deadlines. We have to perform in the same old shit in IP. And there goes the dream of oh-new-songs-and-new-costume and the 'grand comeback'. Technically I shouldn't care because well I am going to pass out of college in some time. But seriously I prefer thinking of these problems than those which I'll be facing when I am out of college.

Its my sister's birthday today and she is in that stupid hostel of her boarding school. She is coming back on the 13Th. We have stuff planned out for her but its execution is a little... well... I guess more work. Mom Dad are going to pick her up. They leave tomorrow for grandad's place and return on the 13Th with her. Now that means I live alone for two whole days. And I am not even excited. I planned the daru party with Enigma people but now I think I will just cancel it. I haven't called anyone to stay over. I am just too...bleh!

My room is a mess. My mom doesn't enter it anymore because she is scared something unwanted will bite her. I want to clean it and I want to organize my cupboard, but i can't find the time to do it. And i really NEED to clean my desk. But well I guess that's not really happening anytime soon.

I cannot find my pink shades. Just like I can't find where my life is going.

Ajeeb Insaan called to tell me how hot the sound system of his stupid fest is. As if that's all I needed to know in my life. When will he realise that I visit bigger and better fests like practically every alternate day?? I guess it was the feeling of accomplishment for him which he wanted to share or maybe it was a way of showing off. Actually I don't want to really bother myself with his thoughts right now.

Dude Who the fuck is going to replace me as the head of Enigma?? Kaun hoga wo?? Well I guess not the right time to think about that either. I love being the president and I don't really want to give that to someone else. Yeah yeah I need to move on and all that crap but hello... I don't want to means I don't want to, irrespective of what I HAVE to!!

My Things to Do list keeps increasing in size. I delegated the first one to juniors and now I have a newer and a longer list ready.

I think I need a vacation. To some place like Hawaii or something. But guess what?? I don't have the time to get that stupid passport form. I think I can do with Goa. Beaches, Hot guys, sunshine, shorts, swimsuits, Hot guys, water sports, luxurious resorts, Hot guys, HOT GUYS, good food, a lot of free time, books that i want to read and not the ones that I have to read, Hot guys.... Oh and yeah Hot guys!!!

But all I get is Delhi and so much work and the memories of an ex boyfriend to bother me and a lot of books to study and a messy room and an even messier life.